Big thoughts for a little girl

That’s me and my twin sister playing royalty with our paper crowns from Burger King and our mom’s nightgowns and queenly jewels. I’m the one on the left waving hi to the peasants. It’s one of my favorite all time pictures. I always loved to riffle through her things and play dress up with everything shiny that she owned. My mother had a pair of silver glitter tights and a pair of silver glitter shoes. It was the sixties after all. I adored them. She also had a jewelry box shaped like a treasure chest. I still have it and display it in my living room. 

I was a strange little girl, maybe not outwardly but definitely inwardly odd. I recognized it even then, I just kept quiet and soaked in experiences, not because I feared any repercussions or retribution but because I knew the thoughts I was having were big thoughts. Big thoughts for me to think and decipher later in my life. Nothing for me to worry about in childhood.

I realize now that my perception of the world around us may not be the same as other peoples.

I can clearly recall being introduced to the subject of History in second grade. I was excited to finally read all about Egypt, the BEST civilization to ever grace this planet. I can even recall where exactly on the page it started. Towards the bottom. No headline, no picture, just one paragraph long. My second grade mind believed that this was all the information about Egypt in the world not just a little bit for us to learn. I was insulted.

I remember thinking that I had finally been born in a time of peace. I remember thinking, thank you lord that there is no more war. Thank you that I can live fearlessly, that we can all live fearlessly. These thoughts came at a time when my whole world was just 2 city blocks big and my child’s mind hadn’t thought past those two blocks. I can still remember my horror and disappointment the first time I learned that war still existed on the planet just not where I was.

Big thought and big expectations. Bigger than the world is capable of yet.